Introduction
What services does Winnipeg have to offer men interested in accessing mental health support?
Many mental health programs treat symptoms, but they may overlook the causes of addiction and co-occurring disorders, which gendered stereotypes can influence.
The similarities between men and women are greater than the differences. Still, recognizing how men are vulnerable to addiction is essential to predicting successful treatment outcomes.
Masculine norms are socially constructed beliefs, values, and expectations of what it means to be a man. These rules dictate to men how to demonstrate manliness/masculinity.
Gender Expectations
Addiction is a progressive illness, and people can easily miss the signs at first. Some men have conditioned themselves to believe they can solve their problems on their own. They may remain in denial about their addiction. That is, until a crisis pushes them to seek help.
Society has expected men to be self-reliant, to provide for themselves and their loved ones. Taking time off work to treat one’s addiction continues to be a barrier to treatment for many.
Men can be also more tolerant to substance use due to gender expectations. Alcohol use among men has long been associated with masculinity, competition and serves as a rite of passage for many when they become legal age.
Often men grieve the loss of comradery when they choose to get sober, and gender-specific recovery programs strive to fill that gap.
My practice hosts therapy groups for men in recovery from addictions as well as offering anger management programs. These programs combine elements of psychoeducation and behavioral counselling, providing a supportive environment for men of all ages.
Emotional Isolation
Historically, men have been told that showing emotions is a sign of weakness and that they shouldn’t talk to other men about their deep feelings. Therefor, anger is seen as the only acceptable strong emotion for men to display. Women have been allowed to express a broader range of emotions without feeling judged.
Men may feel they need to detach emotionally and appear in control. Society dictates men shouldn’t talk about their pain. It’s no surprise that many men struggle with their emotions and attitudes long after they’ve achieved sobriety.
A rigid box of gender expectations creates the breeding ground for addiction – isolation and shame.
Social Isolation
When I ask my male participants to imagine a person they wish they were closer to emotionally, most men will list their fathers, brothers, or sons. Men often struggle to connect with other men on an emotional level.
Strong connections with other people play a tremendous role in an individual’s mental health. Close friends give you someone to talk to after a bad day. When you tell them your problems, they offer a balanced perspective on what’s troubling you. They provide protection against loneliness and isolation.
Men may have fewer social connections than women, relying solely on their partner for emotional support, which is always an unrealistic expectation.
When these emotional needs are unmet, men may externalize their emotions in harmful ways, such as substance use, reckless driving or violence.
Relapse
Typically, when we think of relapse, we imagine someone facing a major stressor. This includes losing a job, or relationship and falling back into addiction as a way to cope.
While women were more likely to report negative emotions before a relapse, men were more likely to report positive emotions as an underlying factor. This could entail letting their down their guard when they felt especially good, perhaps even thinking they could use/drink in moderation.
Finding Hope and Defining Healthy Masculinity
My gender-specific program for addictions challenges structural ways of thinking in pursuit of being our true authentic selves.
When discussing healthy masculinity in a group setting, we discovered the characteristics that have been historically seen as weaknesses, are essential parts to a healthy man. To untangle the rigid rules of masculinity is to be emotionally vulnerable, an essential component to sobriety.
Some ideas my participants and I have come up with in group settings include:
Healthy expressions of masculinity involve fostering emotional intelligence and supportive relationships. This includes asking for help, which demonstrates strength and self-awareness, as well as the ability to express a wide range of emotions.
It’s important to communicate openly and establish healthy boundaries based on respect and consent. Men are encouraged to embrace nurturing roles and call out unhelpful behaviors in themselves and their peers, moving away from the need for dominance or control. By doing so, they can cultivate deeper connections and create a more understanding and compassionate environment.
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